Helpless Hope
by QueenGen
Summary: The Trials of Draco coping with life without his Harry. Harry is in a coma. Hermione is a brat. HxD. Slash. Who could ask for more? Warning: Character Death.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: **I don't own the characters :(

**Warnings: **Slash and Cussing.

**Thanks: **Chantal Flameshadow. My Beta!

**Summary: **Harry's in a coma, Draco's going mad, and Hermione's annoying. :)

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**Helpless Hope**

**Chapter One:**

Hermione walked into the room, once again worried to see the too familiar blonde sitting at the bedside of her best friend. Her worry was not towards the fact that he was there by her best friend of eight years, however, but that he didn't seem to have moved since the last time she saw him, at five o'clock the previous afternoon.

"Draco?" the brunette asked as she reached out a hand to put on his shoulder, dropping her purse carefully to the ground beside her as she kneeled to be at his height. The blonde did not look up, still gazing intently at the young man resting in the bed, still and non-reactive to anything around him. When she said his name a second time, he looked up.

"Sorry, I didn't hear you," he said, his voice devoid of anything scathing, sarcastic, or mischievous, and therefore at a loss of life.

"Draco, you're worrying me," Hermione said to her newfound friend of a year. "Have you moved since I left last night?" she asked. Grudgingly, Draco shook his head, his hair hitting his face with every snap of movement his head made.

"I can't leave him, what if he wakes up and I'm not there to see him?" he murmured, a fear sparking his eyes as if a match was ignited.

"Draco, Harry's been unconscious for over a month and you've not left the house since he first went into a coma," Hermione said chidingly. "You need to live your life, Draco. Harry wouldn't want you to be here, growing even more pale and ill than he is. He'd want you to live your life the best that you can."

She could tell by the ashamed look on the blonde's face that he knew this was true. However, she also knew he would be too stubborn to do anything without a forceful shove. "Alright, time to get up," she said, standing and giving him room.

He did not budge and only shifted closer to Harry.

"Draco, get up, come on," she said again, growing impatient as she tapped her foot and gave him a healthy glare. When the glare was returned she stood firm and said, in her most commanding voice, "Draco Malfoy you get up right this instant or I'll dye your hair purple!"

That got him up.

"That's better. Now, I want you to take a shower, because you reek to high heavens. Then, I will make you breakfast, and you will eat it, and like it. Then, we can discuss further action, is that clear?" she said, sounding more like a drill sergeant than a helping hand. Draco, not wanting to anger her further, trudged to the bathroom and did what she asked of him.

When he got in the shower, Draco couldn't help but let out a halfhearted sigh. The water cleaning him felt great, but the pull to go to Harry was strong and pulled him, almost physically, to his side yet again. He felt he should be standing by Harry, his lover, and best friend.

He almost laughed as he began to reminisce about when he and Harry started dating. It had been a rocky start, as one would expect from a relationship that had begun with hatred. However, once they were able to see that the fine line between love and hate had been crossed, they had immediately felt the same: a love none could explain.

It then took a while for both to admit the attraction they felt. Draco could practically kill himself as he thought of all the times he would avoid Harry just to make sure he wouldn't reveal his newfound lust for the boy. He began having sex with anyone else, just to take his mind off of the fact that he had the most enormous crush on the boy who lived.

Who could have imagined that Harry was going through the same thing. However, instead of sleazing through the beds of every Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw in the school, he focused on defeating the Dark Lord; The Dark Lord, which was now causing so much pain to the poor blonde.

What had happened out on the battlefield, he wasn't sure. At first, he thought their side was winning, the side of the light. After running off with Snape in sixth year, he immediately converted to the light side and eventually joined the Order, and that was how he and Harry grew even closer. However, when they were out fighting the final battle that they had seen coming since the war began, something went wrong.

Terribly wrong.

For one moment, Harry Potter was victorious and had Voldemort on his knees, begging for pardon and to not kill him. However, the old snake's life was at an almost immediate end at this point and it did not surprise anyone that within a minute of pleading, the begging stopped and the tormentor was dead.

However, none could say they expected to see Harry fall down as well. All had frozen as Harry began to fall, except for Draco who sprang into action almost immediately, running only on the adrenaline and fear that was coursing through his veins, he caught Harry before he could hurt his head on the cold hard earth.

Draco's eyes began to tear, mixing with the shower's cleansing water as he thought of the life that had been depleted from Harry's eyes, yet his heart still was beating. Draco had shut the other's eyes with his thumb and forefinger and the two were quickly sent to St. Mungo's as the rest of the death eaters were rounded up.

No one was sure what happened on that battlefield. The doctors assured Draco that Harry was only in a comatose state, but since how it happened was unknown, Harry would have to awake on his own time. Ever since that day, which was more than half a year ago, Draco had sat by Harry's bedside. He rarely moved unless forced, ate unless forced, or did anything but watch as his lover stayed the same. No improvement or danger had occurred since the day that they rested the limp man on his own bed in their house just outside of London.

And still there was no change for Draco to rest his two feet on.

He got out of the shower and got into some comfortable clothing; a gray t-shirt and a pair of black sweatpants, and walked out into the kitchen. The smell of bacon and pancakes should have been comforting to the blonde, but they could only make him nauseous. However, he ate what he was given, though small in amount, then waited for what Hermione had to say to him.

Drinking a cup of coffee while watching him pick at his food, Hermione had remained quiet. She was mulling over the situation and what would help Draco cope with what was going on, since this road was only the way to destruction for him.

"Alright, we need to get you a hobby," she said leaning back, saying it slowly. She glanced at Draco who rolled his eyes. Yep, same old Draco. "Oh come on, you must do something!"

"I have sex," he offered. After resisting smacking Draco over the head, since he was in need of help not a reprimand, she attempted to help him with suggestions.

"Have you ever collected anything?" she asked.

"Nope, and I don't want to start," he said, interrupting her.

"Why?" she asked.

"Because it's a stupid, muggle activity and personally makes me feel too much like that Arthur Weasley character," he said with a sneer. _Definitely the same old Draco_ Hermione thought to herself.

"Play cards?"

"No."

"Like to cook?"

"No."

"Can you play a- -?"

"No"

"Well, Merlin, Draco. Don't you do ANYTHING?" she asked, exasperated.

"Um…no," he said, for once after a long while, grinning quite triumphantly at annoying the girl then he stopped and grew thoughtful.

"Well," he began uneasily. "I did like to write when I was- -," but he was interrupted.

"PERFECT!" Hermione said. "I know what you can do! You can write a journal for Harry so when he wakes up you'll have something to give him to make up for how long he's been out," she said.

At first Draco thought it was idiotic, but then he saw that this could actually be something that could help him carry on. Plus, he could give it to Harry and Harry always did find that sort of thing romantic and shit. Draco thought it was all sappy garbage, stuff like writing a journal for someone, or writing poetry, but usually it got Harry to give him **really **good sex. Therefore, Draco didn't see too much harm in doing it.

Hermione was at the door before he could get another word out. "I'll get you one and give it to you tomorrow," she promised. After kissing the both of them goodbye, though one on the forehead since Hermione still got the shivers thinking that something weird might happen if she kiss Harry on the lips in his state, then left.

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Read and Review. 

And I'll always Love youuuuu -heart-


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything but the clothes on my back.

**Warning: **Cursing. Slash. Sappiness.

**A/N-** I Love Chantal Flameshadow, who is the only one brave enough to be my beta. I love youuu:)

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**Chapter 2:**

Draco sat down with the journal. Not really knowing how to start, he stared at the blank page without much interest. Finally, he reached out for a writing utensil and set it to the paper. Watching the ink blot a moment he sighed then wrote out nice and big:

_"Dear Harry." _

He sat back and admired his work so far. So far so good, he guessed as he once again began writing.

"_Well Granger told me she wanted me to write a journal sort of thing for you to keep me busy. She said that I might be driving you crazy what with staring at you all the time and shit that you don't WANT to wake up. But that's not true; I think she just gets a kick out of the fact that I believe her. I know, I'm normally not that gullible and I'm rather stubborn most of the time, but recently it's like I've gotten weaker. I think it's because you've been gone so long._

_I miss you Harry. I don't think you even realize to the extent that I really **miss** you. I miss waking up beside you, or having to wake up to calm you from a nightmare. I miss sitting next to you in the park on days when you thought it was safe to just be us and have a picnic or something stupid like that. You always liked that corny shit. _

_You want to know something I just thought about? About that time that you and the Weasel got in a fight because he decided to have sex with…I think it was Lavender or some twat like that…in your dorm room? That was so funny, watching you fume like that about what a horrible friend he was for making you have to deal with such nauseating noises. Then do you remember how you got your revenge? I do. I remember you propositioning me after dinner one night in the astronomy tower then suddenly we ended up in your room and as we made love, Ron walked right in as you came. That was the way that Ron found out about us. His face was priceless. It was a great moment. _

_  
I had many great moments with you Harry. And I want more great moments. It's not fair what happened to you, and it makes me so angry that it did."_

After writing a few other things, Draco put the pen down and looked over what he wrote. He thought maybe some of it was a little too…gushy, but it was what he was feeling and he might as well write it down.

After that he sat with Harry for a little while, then took Hermione's advice and got a bit of food and brought it into the bedroom. As he munched he grabbed Harry's hand and stroked it. Once and a while he would talk to Harry, saying random, loving things. Not noticing that night had fallen outside until he finally had to turn on the lights to see Harry. He decided that he should change the young man's clothes as he usually did at night and began dressing the limp man.

When he was finally done, he kissed Harry's still head and got up. Taking a blanket from the edge of the bed, he placed it around him on the chair as he had grown used to doing and fell asleep.

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A/n-Let me just note that this is definately novella material. It's REALLY short. I just put it into chapters because I can , so don't expect the chapters to have much bulk to them

Thanks to slytheringirl4ever and Potter's Wifey for their reviews. Keep it up, please! Read and Review -heart-

(sorry if anyone got confused. I put the chapter in the wrong story at first. Give me a break it's morning x.x)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these guys, though I do dream about them ;)

**Warning: **Cursing per usual...um...just a bit of angst, but we all know I stink at that so it won't be too heart breaking ;)

**A/N- **I love Chantal Flameshadow. Beta of life ;)

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**Chapter 3:**

It had been a week or two that Draco started doing this. Every day he would write in his journal, the stories getting longer and longer and his words getting easier to express. When he was almost halfway done with his book, he decided to put it down for a little while and think of some other great memories to remind his lover of.

There were even the not so great moments. After he wrote a few other ones, he went a little darker.

"_Harry, I want you to know, though you probably already know about this, but I forgive you. I never told you like I should have, I just kept saying I would fuck you even if you pushed me off a cliff but…but I did get hurt, Harry, when you cheated on me._

_I remember, though I wish I didn't, how it first started. It wasn't that noticeable at all. You weren't around as much as you used to be. And when you were around, it was like you were always distracted. I started noticing it though around our first anniversary, when you cried when I got you a gift, and said you didn't deserve it. _

Well I kept watching you afterwards, though not in a stalker sort of way. But I always knew where you were going. I knew about you and Ernie shagging before you knew that I knew his name. I won't lie, I was so angry with you; I was so close to hexing you into oblivion. The entire thought of you doing such a thing to me was so painful that I cried for an entire night, and Malfoy's do not cry. That's how much you meant and still mean to me Harry. That's why you need to wake the hell up and get off your lazy ass."

At this point he went to the loo to get his thoughts back on focus. When he went back to the notebook he saw there was a freshly made sandwich and a bottle of warmed butterbeer waiting. He'd have to owl Hermione later and thank her, he mused, for the food. He began eating it as he continued writing.

"_If it wasn't for Hermione, I really would have left you. I thought you were just as bad as the rest of them, fooling me into the thought that you loved me then just used me. But then I thought maybe it was my fault, since most of our spats usually were my fault. I didn't want to see you for a while after that, maybe trying to sort things out. Remember that?_

_Anyway after a while I got over it and finally decided to catch you on it and waited until you went to go see him then I pulled the "Head Boy" card and went into the Hufflepuff dorms and found you and him in a rather…interesting position. I know I probably shouldn't have ever forgiven you, especially after the hurt that it put me through. _

_But you never cheated again. I know you didn't, because you never acted like that again. I will never know why you did it, and I truly don't want to know. But I do want you to know that I love you with all of what little heart I have…and with that small fraction of soul, I want you to know that I truly and honestly put that entire thing behind me._

_If only you'd just wake up."_

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_A/N- _I had the urge to start singing this country song that was on the radio not long ago it's like " blahblahblah...that's my story and I'm Stickin To It." I don't know why I did...I just did. ANYWAY, Please read and review. :D 


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: **I'm not in ownership of these characters.

**Warnings: **Cursing per usual I should think. A doctor and sappy things.

**A/N- **Sorry I haven't updated. I got a bit distracted x.x And, just so you guys are informed, I'm THINKING of after I'm done posting either a) making it into a one shot or b) Lengthening the chapters by putting two chapters into one thingie. This is simply for the fact that the chapters are so small it might be easier for future reading. Give me your thoughts if you have any.

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**Chapter Four:**

Every month, a mediwizard or witch would come in to check up on Harry. Today was one of those days. After Draco had finished writing his entry for the day he got dressed so he was presentable as the doorbell rang. He answered it and let him in.

"Wow, Mr. Malfoy, you look much better than last visit," the doctor said in satisfaction.

"Let's go to your patient shall we?" Draco said, avoiding the conversation to be about him. The doctor nodded and set to work

As the doctor performed the standard procedure tests, he and Draco talked a little.

"So I see you've taken up writing?" he asked as he injected a needle for blood testing. Draco nodded and pointed to the notebook. "I saw it, that's a very good hobby. I took it up myself when my Gertrude was in the hospital for a ruptured spleen."

When the doctor was done with the needle he set to work on adding the blood to vials and set the potions alight with colors and spells of ingredients.

"Have you thought of working while you are waiting for him to recover?" the doctor asked.

Draco shook his head. "I couldn't be away from Harry that long," he explained himself, not knowing why he felt he needed to, but the doctor nodded in complete understanding.

Finally the tests were done, but the doctor did not look pleased.

"What is it?" the blonde asked the older man nervously. The mediwizard sighed.

"He's gotten worse," the man said sighing. "He's lapsed deeper into his comatose state, should he go any farther…he may never come back," he said. Draco was silent as the doctor began to pack up slower than he was before.

When he was getting ready to leave, Draco stopped him. "Is there a chance of him getting better?" he asked, his voice soft with worry and grief. Before the doctor could answer he said, "And don't sugar coat it, please, I need to know."

The doctor heaved a great sigh. "I don't know, but the likelihood of him coming back to us is very slim. I wouldn't bet on it," and with that he left the room, his head hung and his heart heavy. He however had nothing on what Draco was feeling right now.

Draco sat unable to believe what he had heard. His hopes and dreams of returning to a better, normal life were tearing even faster at the seams. Getting up, he went to his notebook and began to write.

"_I got some pretty bad news today, Harry. You might not wake up. Ever. And I can't even express how scared I am, Harry. I need you with me. I've been doing alright without you, I guess. But that's only because I knew you were coming back to me. Now…I don't know. I want to say I can stay here and be strong for you but…well…we'll see, Harry. We'll see._

_I love you."_

A sad smile came to his lips.

_"Do you remember our first, "I love you"? I do. I remember it like it was just a minute ago. Of course, you being bloody Harry Potter, it couldn't be a small intimate affair. You and your weird Gryffindor self decided to change yourself into a cat and crawl into my lap then whisper in my ear that you loved me? _

_Then how the transformation did not work as you planned? I think that was better than anything else you could have planned for me. I'm eating my dinner, like normal and all of the sudden in bursts Harry, covered in fur from head to toe, though your eyes and glasses were still much the same on your cute little face as you ran up to me. _

"_I just wanted to say something before I got shipped off to St. Mungo's. I tried to turn into a cat but instead I turned into cat man. Oh well, oh yeah um…" then you grabbed my face in your furry paws and kissed me, whiskers and all, and told me you loved me. Then you got taken away by the teachers so you could go get treated. _

_Then I gave you the nickname "My lion." I thought it suited. And you will always be so, my lion. No matter what happens."_

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_A/N- Read and Review. By the way, Chantal, Love you. My Beta Biffle ;)_


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: **I don't own anything

**Warning: Cursing, angst, other shiz.**

A.n-I put like 10 chapters into one...because they're all so short. i have one more chapter that i'm going to post. XD

I love Chantal Flameshadow, my beta )

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**Chapter Five:**

As the week progressed Hermione came in to check on Draco and Harry. When Draco explained what the doctor said, at first he didn't seem that affected which shocked Hermione. Then she grew even more shocked to see that it affected him more than she could imagine.

The way she found out didn't help much either.

She had come over with another lunch for Draco to eat should he not want to cook but she came in, once again, to an empty room. But this time, she wanted to talk to him and make sure he was alright and waited in the room, watching Harry for a bit. About five minutes of waiting she grew worried. "Draco?" she called into the house but she wasn't replied with an answer.

Growing even more anxious she left the room and looked around. Finally she reached upon the bathroom and practically cried seeing the sight before her. Having cracked under the pressure of his boyfriend never opening his eyes again, it appeared Draco took a frowned upon approach on the matter and was vomiting vehemently into the toilet. Hermione rushed in to assist him, thanking god she did this for Ron many a time after he got drunk so she could handle the scent of vomit. Holding back his hair, she rubbed soothing circles into the back of the sobbing, messy Draco.

When his stomach was emptied, he flushed down the toilet after wiping his face off with some toilet paper.

"Thank you," he murmured leaning against the porcelain toilet seat.

"Draco, you're as pale as a ghost!" she said, seeing the lack of coloration in his cheeks.

"You mean more than usual?" he teased half-heartedly. Helped up by Hermione, Draco brought himself back to the bathroom.

"Draco, why are you so upset?" she asked sitting him down. "It's not definite that he'll be gone forever!"

"You weren't here when the doctor came," he said, his voice sounding hoarse from having upchucked through his throat. "He was firm in his belief, and I happen to trust him and his judgment being a doctor and all," he said rubbing his head and running a hand through his own hair.

Hermione clucked in annoyance. "You have to believe that he'll make it, Draco. You have to," she sighed. "Promise?"

He shrugged, "I'll try," he said.

"Good," Hermione said and kissed his cheek. "I'll be around tomorrow," she vowed and with that left him alone with his dark, dreary thoughts.

-0-0-0-0—

The next day, Hermione found Draco huddled over his book, writing fervently. She was surprised to see how much he'd written in that notebook, since she'd gotten the one with the most pages she could find. With a bundle of food in her hands she placed it next to the blonde on the little table he set up to write on so he was in clear view of Harry and sat on Harry's bed so she could look at him.

"Hey Draco," she said when he didn't look up as she sat down. The blonde glanced up and nodded before he finished writing, putting the pen down.

"Hey, Granger," he said tiredly. His voice was dry as a bone and his eyes took on a red hue, looking bloodshot. His skin around them was irritated, possibly from constant rubbing.

"I brought you some lunch," she said, pointing to the bundle she had put down.

"I see that," he said, looking at it and smiling wearily.

"Maybe you should take a nap, Draco," she said, sounding a bit worried, "I can watch over Harry while you sleep, and I'll wake you if something should happen alright?"

Draco looked like he was going to protest, but he couldn't refuse closing his slowly drooping eyes. Sighing, he went to the bed and kissed Harry's scar on his forehead, then left the room. He went out to the couch and lay down, instantly falling to sleep.

Hermione watched as the ex-Slytherin left the room, then turned back to Harry.

"Hey Harry," she said softly, resting her hand on his leg, feeling the weak pulse through the sheets. "You better wake up soon you know. Draco's not doing too well without you," she admitted, then even quieter she said "And neither am I."

Ever since Harry fell into a coma, she'd been alone. With Ron always gone, she was the only one really left of the trio. She'd dated a few blokes since this time, if only for company, but she could never deny she'd rather be around her redheaded and black haired mates. Well, she could deny it, but she wouldn't mean it.

Ron handled things differently than she did. While she stayed to make sure Draco and Harry stayed alive and well, Ron couldn't handle seeing his best friend the way he was. He did come to visit but not often, since Draco and he still weren't on the best terms. However, when he came around, they were pleasant enough, if sulking together was pleasant.

He played Quittich now for some team that he'd always liked as a boy. The Chudley Canons, Hermione believed it was, then again she was never up to date on any of those Quittich teams. He wrote a letter every now and then, asking about her and Harry's health and telling Hermione about the team's journey to the Quittich Cup. Hermione was glad that Ron was coping the way he knew best, and that he was at least happy for the time being. What Hermione was, however, was beyond her.

Seeing her friend lying there day after day with no change for more than a half year was irritatingly grating on her nerves. She'd taken to working with the ministry in restoring order to the Wizarding World, but it still had taken a toll on her. While she was nothing compared to Draco when it came to how miserable she was, she couldn't honestly say she was happy. Neutral, for now, would be the best that she could feel until then, she guessed. Until the day that her friend awoke from the coma…_if_ he awoke.

Of course he would wake! Hermione chided herself. She had to believe he would, otherwise all hope would be lost. She couldn't abandon him, and she couldn't abandon Draco.

Watching him a little longer, she let her eyes linger around the room until they, once again, rested on the book. Looking at the door, she stood up and meandered to it. Picking it up, she looked at the binding and the cover with a lingering gaze. She'd done well in choosing it, she thought, as the leather cover was a nice touch to the book. She opened it up and saw a little of the first page and was heartbroken by the pleas which Draco wrote down. She skipped a little and then found an innocent enough passage, she thought, that she could read.

Looking at the door again, she sat down beside Harry and began reading.

"_I wasn't a very positive child when I was in Hogwarts. Well, I'm guessing you could tell by the way I treated you, the Weasel, and Granger. But…I don't know, I always felt like I was so inferior to you three that I would try to bring you down with me. I'm so glad that you understood why I did that when I told you. It was the night that we discovered how close we really were in similarities and shit. You asked me why I did all the crap that I did to you guys, and it took me so long to answer. It's hard to admit to your worst enemy that you were just jealous of them!"_

Hermione couldn't help but laugh at that: jealous of them? Wow, Draco must have been desperate.

"_Especially Weasel though. That's the one who I was jealous of the most. Not of his lack of money or anything, because I personally like the fact that I have money, as most would. But I was jealous of the fact that he was so close to you. I wanted that, and I didn't understand why I couldn't have what he had: you, the one thing that was not given to me willingly. But finally I told you that I was, indeed, jealous. You laughed, like I thought you would, and commanded me to tell you why. When I did, you still looked amused, you little shit, but it was better than you being angry with me, I guess._

_Anyway, so when that was done and over with we got back into our flow of talking. I don't even know why we started talking, all I know it was a detention that I scored us by putting some sort of potion in your hair. Oh right, it was a potion to make your hair stay down. It worked, of course, but everyone thought I poisoned you so I got detention. That's why I hated it when McGonagall would be the substitute for Snape. She'd always believe you little Gryffindors before us Slytherins. Though, I suppose I should be thankful that she decided to put us in detention. I'll never know how you got in detention either, but I do remember going down into the dungeons and you leaning against the wall, dejected at having to see me another time that day. _

Merlin, I'm rambling…again. I just can't help it, when I think about you, me, and our relationship's beginning or anything about us it makes me so excited that I write more!

_  
Anyway, we kept talking that night until we were finally done. I didn't realize how close, physically, we had gotten until we were practically touching each time we went into our buckets to gain more soapy water on our sponges. I got nervous and my hands grew shaky. You must have thought I was going mad or something, because you kept looking at me like I might fall over. I probably would have if I weren't on my knees already. _

_I'm not quite sure when I really started liking you. It just happened. I think I may have liked you since the day you refused my friendship, underlying my jealousy and hate, but it grew stronger when I came back after the Dumbledore incident, which I will always regret until I die. _

_Anyway by the time we were finally done, it was almost twelve o'clock. I didn't really know how to leave without it being awkward, so I went for the most expected route and just said goodbye and was about to walk out._

_Your hand wrapped around my wrist, and I practically died as my gut lifted into my throat. Your touch electrified me into knowing what each part of my body was saying, which most definitely was not fair since it seemed to me at first that you didn't even feel anything except my wrist under your hand, until I looked back. _

_Did I ever mention how beautiful your eyes are? They really do twinkle, and they do it all the time, even without a light there. You could have given Dumbledore a run for his money. But they were so green as well, like I was staring at two of the most perfect emeralds. You looked like something had passed by you that was extremely pleasant or something to that nature because they didn't sparkle in anger, but only in a sort of mirth I'd not experienced before that touch. _

_I think that was the first time you ever smiled at me, Harry. And I think, even after so many years of being together, that smile will always be one of my fondest memories. Well of course, that and the gentle, tender squeeze of my hand._

"_Not goodbye," you said. "Hasta La Vista."_

_I didn't have half a clue as to what that meant. I thought maybe you placed some sort of curse upon me. I practically ran to the common room to go to my curse book and look it up. When I didn't find it, I wasn't as worried as I had been before, but I couldn't say I was at ease._

_  
But the next time we met, alone, which was a little while later, I still remembered what you said and asked. You said it was Spanish for "Until we meet again." I thought that was completely idiotic at the time, but then I looked up this Spanish language afterwards._

_It was the language of romance. A language of love that you spoke to me. To say I was surprised would be satisfactory. To say I was if not a little hopeful, exact."_

Hermione put down the book quietly. She had to refrain herself from "awing" as she placed it where it was first located and looked at the clock. It was only about two hours that she had been there watching over Harry, and she decided to give Draco some more sleep before she would retire to her normal routine outside of this house.

When Draco did finally awaken, about two hours later, he came into the room and Hermione departed. Draco was confused at the smile on her lips, and quite a bit more stunned when she left him with a small "Hasta la Vista" of her own.

What a weird woman.

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A/n-Thanks to all who've reviewed! to those who haven't...please do? x.x 


	6. Chapter 6

**Disclaimer: **I don't own them, give me a break.

**Warning: **Mentioning of sex.

**A/n-**This is my xmas chapter, because each story needs one. Thank you CHANTAL FLAMESHADOW )

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**Chapter 6.**

Hermione returned every day, as she normally did, but each time she would tell Draco to go to sleep. While he thought it was for his own well being, mostly, it was so she could read a little bit more about their relationship. It was so much like a romance novel!

How could have she known all the things that went between them?! It was so juicy with details as well, it was just like a ticket to gay porn land, and she was riding first class. Of course, he wouldn't necessarily write about all the things that they did. But as she got braver to look at the dirtier parts of the book, she was able to find their first round of sex, their first kinky sex (complete with furry handcuffs), and even the first Christmas gift that Draco gave Harry which was, in Hermione's opinion, one of her favorite things to read.

"_I don't know how I originally came up with it," _it said, "_I think I was just sitting in the Great Hall, watching you and your friends eating and yammering about something, of what I wasn't sure. Probably Christmas plans or something of that nature. Anyway, as I watched you, however, I suddenly was struck with a wonderful idea; an awful idea. I was struck with a wonderfully awful idea, and I knew that it would be the perfect first gift that I would give you. _

_I started working on it that day. It took a lot of planning, that gift did. I had to make sure that you were kept out of my dorm until it was time for you to see it. I had to make sure that your friends didn't find out, or anyone else for that matter. Well…except for Blaise of course. Blaise was one of the only people I allowed to know my gift was about. I can even see you blushing though I'm only writing this now, and you're asleep. But when you do, you'll be as red as a berry, Mister Potter. _

_Anyway so it was all set up. You almost blew my cover once or twice, asking me repetitively why I was always at the library or hanging out with Blaise. You actually accused me of cheating on you! Ha, what a laugh…and sort of ironic too, but we won't go into that. Anyway, so it was done. You, being the impatient git you are, decided to wait right outside my dorms the entire time since it wouldn't let you in._

_Your face was priceless. I could tell you were going to yell me up a storm as to why you were locked out of my room…until you looked in. I can remember it all now. There was white everywhere: a winter wonderland. Yet, it was as warm as a summer's breeze. That was because this was not snow, it was completely sugar and silk. I led you into the room and shut the door, which cued the lights to dim into a soft rose pink. The sugar glittered as the lights graced upon it, making the whole room shimmer._

_Music seeped into the atmosphere as well. "Lullaby," was softly sung by that muggle singer, Billy Joel. I didn't know why but Blaise thought it appropriate for the time, and I couldn't complain. It was rather catchy._

_A smell of sugared roses was spread all through the room and around the bed were candles, each with their own rose tinted flame and the bed was completely white silk, spared of any sugar. _

_That night, we made love. _

_It was not just mere sex, like it had been before, though even that was amazing, this was different. It was gentle, it was tender. And goddamn, was it erotic. _

_And then I made my solemn promise to never leave you. Ever. You swore the same. Though we never got married, and due to the laws of both the wizarding and the muggle worlds, we can't ever get married, lest they be changed, we exchanged our vows. I planned mine way ahead of time, for this night and when we first started dating in late September. _

_Mine were simple._

"**I, Draco Malfoy, take you, Harry James Potter, to be my husband. I am yours forever and always: in times of plenty, in times of need, in times of sickness, in times of health. I promise to each day cherish you, stay with you, and love you until the day I die and eternally afterward.**"

_And then it was your turn. Call me a prat if you want, or perhaps a sap, but I will remember these words forever:_

"**I, Harry James Potter, take you, Draco Malfoy, to be my husband. I am, always will be, and always have been yours. I would go to the end of the world just to see you smile again. I would fight a dragon to hear your breath mingle with mine as I kiss you. Wherever you may go, I never will be far from you. Now and Forever."**

_And though we hit our rough spots, we stayed true with that vow. And when we went to sleep, our hands laced together like two pieces of the softest fabrics, sewn together by a thread of golden silk._

_You fell asleep as soon as you hit the sheets, for I could hear your soft, even breaths and your little snores. Sleep was about to take me, and I was ready to succumb. But before I did, I could hear the soft piano playing once more, the song that started our night. _

"_Goodnight my angel, time to close your eyes._

_And save these questions for another day._

_I think I know what you've been asking me. _

_I think you know what I've been trying to say_

_I promised I would never leave you._

_And you shall always know:_

_Wherever you may go _

_No matter where you are_

_I never will be far away."_

_Merry Christmas, my Lion."_

She read this one multiple times. Each time she did, she couldn't help but shed a tear, but made sure that it was gone before Draco would reappear. She could hardly imagine what Draco must be going through, doing so much for Harry and in return not being able to have what he had before the final battle. In fact, after the first time she read it, she practically left with tears still in her eyes.

Draco would just blame this on the woman having PMS and vowed never to complain about being homosexual.

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A/n-I'm going to answer some questions or requests because I've felt like i've been abandoning my readers.

Slytheringirl- Yes he is

Potter's Wifey- He'll wake up soon, I'm sure, I hope x.x

And to all who would be willing to lend, I might write an epilogue. I never have before, so it'd be a new experiance. What do you guys think? Well...I guess I should let you read the ending first then you can answer ha ha. Love you all. Review :D


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer:** I don't own anything, -bows to JK-

**Warning: **Cussing. Disgusting almost makeout scene.

**A/N-**Thank you Chantal

**Chapter 7:**

As the days passed, Draco would not admit it of course, but the blonde got worse. He grew extremely depressed as time progressed, seeing that what the doctor had said must be true. Harry was not waking up, and he probably never would. Against his promise to Granger, he was losing faith, quickly.

All the emotional stress finally got to him one day, as Hermione came in and once again told him to go to sleep. He went into the living room and tried to. However, he had a horrible nightmare that was so horrifying that it left Draco waking up in a mix of sweat and tears.

It began in the very bedroom that Harry was lying in. Harry was still in a coma and Draco was in the bathroom. However when Draco came out something was…different. He looked around him then realized that Harry was out of the bed. Full of pure joy, Draco hurried to go find Harry. When he couldn't, he grew worried and started calling out his name in a panic, but Harry was nowhere to be found.

Finally he did find him throwing things in their kitchen, and Harry looked pissed.

"Harry what's wrong?" Draco asked, worried.

"What's wrong?!" Harry asked, in a voice that Draco didn't remember his lover ever possessing. "What's wrong is that when I woke up, I was alone!" he cried.

Draco's blood ran cold, "I had to go to the loo and…"

"GO TO THE LOO?! You fucking thought it would be a better time spent to go take a piss then to be there for me?! I thought you loved me!"

"I do love you!" Draco said, tears traveling down his face, "How can you doubt that?!"

"How could you leave me alone?!" Harry boomed, definitely not in a tone Draco remembered. Then it all went so fast that it made Draco's stomach twist. Harry ran out the back door and when the blonde followed him he was met once again with the sight of Harry kissing another man.

The other man was too familiar. Ernie Macmillan. "Harry?! How could you cheat on me again, you promised!"

"And YOU promised to be by my side forever!" Harry growled, his eyes growing dark and ominous. It was scaring Draco.

"My lion… I…" but he didn't continue as he saw Harry's partner change, changing into the former Gryffindor team captain, Oliver Wood.

"Don't speak to me you scum! And don't you dare use that name for me if you can't even fulfill the job of a husband" Harry hissed. "You've always said how you'd stick by me. In sickness and in health. And look what you've done! You've left me alone, well now I'll find someone who'll _really _love me!"

And now the partner changed again. Red eyes, white, translucent skin. Voldemort.

"Come, my love," Voldemort said, wrapping an arm around Harry's waist and leaning in to kiss.

Thankfully Draco woke up. In a sweat he got up quickly and ran into the room to see Hermione reading his journal.

Standing there stunned he just watched her until she noticed him and put the book down quickly, though she was already caught.

"What are you doing!?" he roared rushing up to the journal and yanking it off the table.

"I was just-," but he didn't let her finish.

"Get out," he hissed through his teeth.

He didn't have to say it twice; Hermione was out of the room before one could say "Wingardium Leviosa."

Draco fell down into the chair in despair. Running a hand over his face he looked at Harry, who was still lying in his comatose state.

"I promise I won't leave you again," he whispered through tears.

He would do anything to make sure his dream didn't ever come true, and so he wouldn't see the horrors his eyes beheld.

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Draco had not been letting any visitors come for the past two weeks. He stayed at Harry's bedside, not eating, sleeping, or doing anything except writing and watching Harry. Since he never ate, he didn't have to use the bathroom and whenever he did, he grew into the habit of urinating into one of the Tupperware that Hermione had brought and throwing the waste out the window when he was finished.

His clothes were dirty and worn. His hair was ratty and knotted. Eyes were bloodshot and narrow. Draco was weaker than he had ever felt before in his life. However, day in and day out, he would watch over his ever-sleeping lover. He made sure the other was taken care of well and made sure that his stats were healthy as well by a wave of his wand. Luckily, his magic had not weakened over this period of time.

However, his wards did, and after those two weeks, Hermione was finally able to get in though not to Draco's consent.

She entered the room nervously and when she met the sight of her friend she nearly fell apart.

"Draco," she murmured.

He did not pay her any mind.

"Draco, I'm sorry; I know I shouldn't have-."

"But you did."

Hermione could not deny this. She nodded and sat down. "Draco, look what you've done to yourself…" she said softly but he did not shift his gaze, watching over Harry in silence. "Draco, come on now, this is silly."

"What's silly?" he asked in a voice that scared Hermione: it was hopeless and empty. "That Harry's in a coma? That he's not made any improvements since he'd undergone this coma over six or seven months ago? That I can't even see his beautiful eyes look at me any longer? That I lost my reason to live _myself _because of what _Volde-_fucking_-mort _did to my husband?!" he asked, growing gradually louder as he spoke.

"Draco I-,"

**"WHAT DO YOU WANT FROM ME GRANGER?!" **Draco exclaimed finally ripping his gaze from Harry as he stood up to face her. She stepped back but realized it was pointless as Draco fell to his knees in sobs. Hermione overcame this shocking turn and went to him.

"Draco," she said as gently as she could. "He could pull through."

"He can't," he said in a voice so broken that it seemed that it would never be fixed. "He can't come back. The doctor said that it would take a miracle for him to ever open his eyes again!" he sobbed.

Hermione didn't know how to answer that.

Helping Draco up she led him back to the chair and helped the weakened man sit down. "I'm going to get you something to eat, and I'm going to make sure you eat it then we can talk alright?" she said softly.

"What's the point?" he hiccupped, but she went to go do so anyway.

She came back with a bowl of soup and a glass of water and watched him have a few spoonfuls.

"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked when it seemed he was done. Draco shook his head in the negative.

She sighed and ran a hand over her mass of curly hair.

"Draco, you've got to keep faith," she said getting up and pecking Harry's forehead.

As she went to the door she heard his final departing words.

"How is one to keep what they have lost?"

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A/n-Last chapter tomarrow. Possible epilogue if you want one. Read and Review. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Disclaimer: **I don't own these Characters.

**Warning: **Sadness v.v

**A/n**-This is the last chapter of this story (told you it's short). I want to thank the Slytheringirl and Potter's Wifey for always reviewing and giving me positive feedback. I may write an epilogue as a follow up story thing but probably not. I haven't had time to write since the day after I wrote this (hence it's shortness) so I will try to keep writing but...well we can't always get what we want. However, here you are: the last chapter of "Helpless Hope"

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Chapter 8: 

"_I can't do it anymore, Harry._" Draco wrote as he neared the edge of the last page in the book. _"I simply can't wake up every morning, and go to sleep every night, knowing that you will never be with me again. That you'll never hold me again. That you'll never kiss me again. I've tried, my little lion. To the best of my abilities as a man, I've tried to show that I can handle being alone. But how can one be alone when their life is no longer with them? They're dead without their life, and without you, I'm dead anyway." _

Draco paused to wipe his eyes. He looked at his wand apprehensively, yet he knew what he must do in order to restore sanity, order, and peace. And to do that, he must destroy it, for it could not be recreated to have peace harbored in his heart, since he knew that it was no longer possible to breathe without his Harry next to him.

"_So now I say goodbye, my little lion. No, not goodbye," _a smile went to his lips as tears poured freely down his face. _"Hasta La Vista.. _

_I love you,_

_X Draco "_

He shut the notebook, which held all of the memories he'd written for his lover to read, if he ever woke up, though he knew in his heart that he would not. He picked it up slowly and ran a finger over the leather binding slowly, forgetting to prevent his tears staining the cover.

He looked up and saw Harry, breathing shallowly as he always did, and walked over to him, stumbling a few times, but successfully making it over to the bed. Draco gently lifted Harry's hands and placed the book underneath them. Bending over, the blonde kissed the still man on his soft lips.

Taking a deep breath and walking to the desk yet again, the wand was lifted. It was only the muttering of a curse that would break him from this tragic fate, which he'd been lead to live. With one last breath he clearly said the words with conviction and relief.

"_Avada Kedevra"_

A flash of green, the crumbling of the shell of a broken man, and the soft patter of a wand hitting the floor and Draco Malfoy was free from the torment, agony, and weight of his life without his love.

Draco was finally a free spirit…

_As Harry awoke._

**--**To die to live again  
Sad to say this is** The End--**


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